By Renee Pullman

When we think of abuse in marriage, everyone assumes that it is the husband who is abusing the wife. This assumption happens whether the abuse is emotional or physical.

Yes, “Abused Men” are more common than you might think: there are many marriages where the wife abuses and demeans her husband. In much the same way that women suffer abuse at the hands of men and they keep going back to him because their self-esteem is destroyed, so it is that men stay in abusive relationships.

In our articles we’ve been talking about men being at a disadvantage in divorce court. This is an even bigger problem if the wife has been abusive. The man is both shamed and emasculated. He will have problems talking with a friend, counselor, attorney or anyone else in a position to help him. Women have difficulty with this too but it is an accepted norm that men are abusers and the wife bears no blame. But a man, he must be a wus to let a woman treat him that way and this can happen through even though the husband is bigger and stronger than the wife.

This article is not about the theory of why people (men and women) allow themselves to stay in an abusive relationship. Rather it is a call to action to get you to remove yourself, and keep yourself away from an abusive relationship. You simply must get out of it, you must find someone to help you muster the courage to do it.

You need to put shame aside; people do much worse things everyday than to allow themselves to be abused. You’ve really done nothing wrong and you should acknowledge the courage you are calling on to do something about your situation. It is unfortunate that in many communities you will not find organizations to help you. However, there is a National Domestic Violence Hot line that you can Google up and get in touch with people who can help you find resources. Don’t put this off.

Some men feel further trapped because they believe they will lose everything in a divorce. While this does happen, it doesn’t need to happen to you. There are divorce strategies for men that will help you avoid “the men’s divorce penalty.” Sure it is real, but if you learn to work the system instead of letting it work against you then you can overcome it. Read books, talk to attorneys, do what you have to do but learn the system so you can leverage it in your favor.

Divorce for abused men: learn all of the tactics and strategies that will give you the insider information to come out of divorce court without losing everything. “Divorce Strategy for Men” is insider tactics and strategies that will help you prevail in your divorce.

http://www.squidoo.com/DivorceForMen is all about divorce for men – tactics, strategy, and how to keep your money, your kids, and your stuff.

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